May 20
Yes – it is still May 20. This is one of the longest days we’ve had in the past few months. After going for runs and taking the black taxi tour and going to the market and going to Giant’s Causeway, we are back in Belfast and heading to Kelly’s Cellars for a pint of Guinness. Our tour guide, Peter, recommended it as his favorite and the best pub in Belfast. When he mentioned it, Michael immediately asked if it was “y” or “ey”, an obvious question coming from a member of the Kelley clan. Peter spent some time talking through the fact that he doesn’t think it matters. They all were originally from the same family. He noted that the small changes in surnames – adding an e or an o was simply the result of fights or rifts in families. When brothers fought, they would adjust their names slightly to show the difference.
So we headed to Kelly’s and grabbed two pints of Guinness.
The place was pretty packed, so we took some seats outside and enjoyed another day of great weather. After one pint and some great people watching, we had to make the decision: go get some dinner or one more pint. We chose to grab another pint to drink outside. After that pint, the same decision: dinner or another? The band had just started playing, so we grabbed another.
From outside, the band didn’t sound that good – all we could hear was the backup vocalist who was not the best. Plus they were playing James Taylor, who I’m a big fan of, but Michael wasn’t thrilled with. We popped back into the bar to see if being inside helped the quality of the band at all. It did. They turned out to be great and a huge highlight of the evening.
The band played the Beatles, Zeppelin, Stones, Van Morrison, Dylan, Johnny Cash, Aerosmith, and who knows what else they played. They were solid.
The crowd in the bar was energetic. It seemed to be mostly locals with a few small pockets of tourists.
We were awkwardly standing at the edge of a table that was shared by another 5 people. Originally we assumed they were all together. We later found out that was not the case.
When Michael and I entered Ireland, I told him that I really wanted a solid, legit Irish pub experience. I wanted a situation where we were surrounded by locals doing something that just felt “Irish”. We did get that in Dublin after the literary pub crawl, but I wanted more. We got it at Kelly’s. While it was definitely a legit Irish pub experience, it was more so a “Northern Irish” pub experience. Let me set the stage.
There are five people at the table we’re standing at. They are between us and the band, so for the most part we are looking at them while watching the band. The table and the band are to our left. The bar is to our right. See below picture. None one in this picture are involved in future events.
The five people are made up of three young people (two men and a woman) and two older guys. The two older guys seem a bit drunk, but also seem to be in good spirits. The younger crew is quiet and seemingly put together.
One of the older guys, who we’ll call “drunk and annoying but harmless”, or “harmless” for short, is hitting on the younger woman and really any woman that walks by. He is living up to his name. The other guy, who we’ll call “drunk and a bit abrasive”, or “Big A”, for short is chatting up anyone who will talk to him. So we start chatting with Big A when he approaches Michael about his Detroit Tigers hat. He spends some time giving Michael a hard time about the Tigers. Apparently, Big A lived in New York for awhile and is a Yankees fan. He spends quite some time poking Michael, but everything is in good spirit.
At some point, Big A tells us that only Catholics hang out at Kelly’s. We should have thought this was a strange thing to say, but we’re Catholic and our tour guide Peter who recommended the bar is Catholic, and we are new to the city, so… ok.
We kept talking and at one point I responded to Big A by saying, “I can’t understand your English”. I really couldn’t understand him, but it was mostly a joke because we all speak the same language. He got a bit upset and said, “I’m not English!” I followed up a bit louder with, “No! I can’t understand your English!”, and laughed. This may have gone back and forth a time or two. I can’t really remember. But at this point, random guy at the bar starts staring us down. We’ll call him “Mean Mug McGee” or “McGee” for short. I didn’t see McGee glaring at us, but Michael did and basically started a small amount of damage control. He alerted me to the fact that McGee was annoyed about something, so we started being just a bit more careful.
Since we were talking with a local, I did take this opportunity to ask a question that I had forgotten to ask Peter earlier. I knew that during the Troubles all neighborhoods were segregated. But I wanted to know if that changed at all since the peace deal, if there is any mixing at this point.
Big A told us that it basically comes down to money. The poor and working class neighborhoods are still very segregated. But in the rich neighborhoods, your religious affiliation doesn’t matter as long as you have money.
The below outlines a portion of conversation between me, Michael, and Big A and is a summary to the best of my recollection:
Big A: what’s your favorite Bond?
Jane: Daniel Craig
Michael: I don’t know… Sean Connery?
Big A: (A bit annoyed with us) No!! Your favorite Bond!!!
Jane: I know most people might not pick Daniel Craig, but….
Michael: I don’t know, who’s your favorite?
Big A: Bond!!! Bond!!!! Like The Beatles!!!!
Jane and Michael: ahhhhhhhhh (language barrier)
Michael: I don’t know. The Rolling Stones. Or Led Zeppelin.
Big A: No way! Definitely not!
Michael: Oooh! Is it not edgy enough for you? Ok, how about the Doors?
Big A: No! U2! U2 is the best band!
We now realize there was only one right answer that we could have responded with. But this is an easy debate. U2 is a very good band and anyone is free to have U2 as their favorite band, but there can be a real debate about whether they are “the best” band. While both Michael and I like U2, neither of us would call them our favorite or the best.
So now Michael and Big A start debating the merits of both U2 and The Rolling Stones. Mostly, Big A is being critical of how old the Stones are and how they haven’t come out with any new music. They only play their old hits at concerts. I note that if U2 would commit to playing more of their hits and less new stuff at concerts that I would actually go see them play. We use google to inform Big A that the Stones had actually come out with a new album in 2016, which discredits his no new music theory. At this point, the younger woman gets involved in the conversation. We start asking him some basic questions about U2 and quickly realize that he doesn’t know all that much about his favorite “bond”. He isn’t familiar with any of their new music and I took this as an opportunity to inform him also of my annoyance that iTunes gave me their new album for free a few years ago and I still can’t figure out how to get it off my phone.
Another pint or dinner? Music is great and we’re talking with locals. Another pint it is.
OK – so the conversation goes on. Now, have you forgotten about McGee yet? He’s still sitting at the bar a few feet away, watching us. At some point, something happens and Michael takes the opportunity to speak to him. I thought that Big A knocked into him a bit and Michael said something to smooth it over. Michael’s not sure if this is how it went down. But either way, once Michael steps out of the U2 conversation that is getting a bit heated between Big A and the young woman, I step away as well and start talking with McGee. I was concerned that my joke from earlier was the cause of his mean mugging and I wanted to make sure we were all cool.
So the three of us were having decent conversation. The topic cannot be remembered by me or Michael at this point in time. But it was not at all what you would expect from a guy I’m nicknaming Mean Mug McGee.
At some point, harmless goes home. It was long over due and we were glad to see him leave.
Michael and I are standing with McGee at the bar, the three young people are at the table with Big Al yelling about U2 or whatever our Bond conversation had morphed into, and the cover band is still nailing it.
Out of nowhere, one of the young guys grabs Big A by the shirt, throws him onto the booth side of our table and starts pounding on him.
Now here’s one of those decision moments in your life. Michael and I are a few steps away, holding beers. I grab Michael’s beer since he’s right next to them and I want him to have both hands in case he gets involved in any way. It’s that moment where you decide if you’re going to get involved.
The young guy landed two or three good punches to Big A’s face. Michael and I looked at each other and both decided to just step back. There was an opportunity for Michael to pull the young guy off of Big A and he didn’t take it. Looking back, it was definitely the best and right decision. We had been talking to him all night, but we didn’t know Big A at all. Not our friend. Not our problem.
After a few punches were landed, two bouncers came in, pulled the guy off of Big A. McGee got involved at this point and started yelling to the bouncer that Big A is a bigot and should be kicked out of the bar. Big A and all three young people got kicked out of the bar.
A bit wide eyed and excited, Michael and I turn back to McGee who starts telling us how glad he was that he beat the crap out of Big A and that Big A got kicked out. Apparently, Big A had been giving the three of them trouble all night. The three young people were English and Big A had an issue with the fact that they were in his bar. This probably explains why he made the point of telling us that Kelly’s is a Catholic pub. We made it clear to McGee that we didn’t know the guy at all and had nothing to do with any of it. He knew, but it was still worth communicating to him.
McGee told us a few things about the situation:
– He doesn’t have any patience for people in Belfast who are going to discriminate against anyone because of religion.
– He’s Catholic and will take issue with anyone, Protestant or Catholic, who has a problem with someone because of their religion.
– These types of fights happen in Belfast every night and people get thrown out of bars for this kind of thing every night. The bouncers are always quick to end it and to throw out troublemakers. Zero tolerance.
– He claimed to hate Belfast because of these types of stupid people who fight about stupid things, including politics, every night.
– He noted that everyone is the same until someone tells you that you’re not.
I thought that last point was really insightful. It was time for another beer or dinner decision and we decided to have another and buy McGee a pint as well.
After our pint with McGee, the cover band had finished and it was time for us to call it a night. At this point dinner was off the table and it was just time for bed.
So that was Belfast’s answer to my desire for a real Irish pub experience. I can’t imagine that it gets more legit than a pub fight in Belfast about religion. Is will state that in the Republic of Ireland locals typically are welcoming and friendly with any visitors. So Belfast provided an answer to my unknown desire to have an authentic Northern Ireland experience. I will note though that I think this falls in line with what Peter was telling us earlier in the day about the difference between young people and older people in Belfast. The English guy didn’t hit Big A because he was Catholic. He hit him because Big A was trying to start a fight. So the fight was less between a Catholic and a Protestant and more between a person who doesn’t want the fight to end and a person who is ready for the Belfast conflict to be over. For the record, the bouncers let all three of the young people back into the bar and they went back to their quiet night.
We had an incredible day, but were ready to leave the next morning. We headed back into the Republic of Ireland to Galway on the west coast for a few days of relaxation. Thank you, Belfast, for an amazing experience! Michael wants to know who your favorite bond is so leave a note in the comment section or shoot us a note!